I always want to say, "I am a mum, but my baby died."

September 10, 2015

 I miscarried at 6 weeks and 5 days. I was 23.Turned out I had an ovarian cyst the symptoms of which I had repeatedly been informing my doctor of but he was putting it down to stress. Almost a year to the date I found out I was pregnant my boyfriend cheated on me and is now married with another child. Me and my new boyfriend have been trying for 2 years now and nothing yet. We are going to look into fertility treatment next year and our hearts are breaking that we can't get pregnant and be the family we so desperately want to be. We both feel uncomfortable when people tell us "come on now it's your turn get a move on", we both feel it unjust when we see another pregnancy announcement on facebook thinking when will it be our turn. I often get told by people who know I've lost a baby, oh you don't know how different your life will be and how amazing it is, you can't imagine what it feels like to be a mum... I always want to say, I am a mum but my baby died. I did one day and somebody said 'oh yes I know but it isn't the same you'll know when you actually have a child'and I find they act like... 'really, your not over that yet?' I seen my babis heart been on the screen and a week and a half later I held my baby in my hand... the pain will never ease...

 

I will love you forever and always baby xxx ♡

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