Lately I've wondered if I'm making people uncomfortable...

October 11, 2015

My husband and I had been trying for a year and a half for our third baby. Dealing with low sperm count we were one cycle away from doing artificial insemination at a fertility clinic, when we miraculously landed pregnant on our own. I cried every day out of pure joy that we had finally created the last little member of our family. At almost 7 weeks pregnant, I started bleeding. I knew right away it was different than the bleeding I experienced during my first two healthy pregnancies. An ultrasound confirmed my uterus was indeed empty and my baby was gone. It has been just over 5 months now and we are still trying for another baby but the grief and agony over losing that baby plagues me. I have read countless books, joined message boards, watched videos. While my friends and family become pregnant and have babies and then do it all over again, all in the duration since we first started trying, my heart breaks into a million pieces for the baby I so desperately want back. I am outspoken about it on my facebook and lately have wondered if I'm making people uncomfortable with that. Though I have had a few messages from other women who are going through infertility or pregnancy loss who are grateful for knowing they aren't alone.

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