...to everyone else it doesn't matter...

October 11, 2015

I was completely surprised was I found out I was pregnant. I had some bleeding and didn't think anything of it. When I scheduled my appointment with the OB I went alone because my boyfriend had to work. When I mentioned the bleeding the Dr. wanted to do an ultrasound. When I looked at the images I saw my little bean in the sac, but right beside it there was another sac with nothing in it. The doctor informed me there had been a baby at one point and I had lost it. My boyfriend to this day believes it was something else even though I've explained it over and over. My family all seemed relieved since they felt two babies would have been so hard. Everyone l know doesn't even address the fact that it was a loss of my baby regardless of how early it was. I'm thankful to have my healthy baby boy , but when he has met each of his milestones and reached his first birthday I also mourned for what could have been. It feels like it is secret that I carry alone because to everyone else it doesn't matter.

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