My dream career is to be a mother. I lost my first at 32 weeks - a little boy, delivered stillborn by c-section. I lost my second eleven months later. I was 21 weeks along, and had a girl, delivered vaginally. I carry my grief with me every day, and use my blog as a platform to share about what it feels like to mourn my babies, to mourn my dreams, to mourn the loss of hope and joy. Many people respond to the news of my loss by saying I should try IVF or adoption. Neither method is quick, easy, inexpensive or guaranteed. Neither method “fixes” the fact I have lost two children. I think about them every day — my precious John Andrew and Jane Louise.