When first asked to write a guest post for Don’t Talk About the Baby, I was referred to as an activist, which took me by surprise. I had never thought of myself as a pregnancy loss activist before. But, I’ve been gnawing on that word and have come to the conclusion that I am one, indeed.
I’m an activist for the parents in this loss community. But my activism looks a little differently. I’m not out protesting or building awareness in the mainstream public. Instead, I am creating a safe place for you to come to feel heard and understood. A place to hear other’s stories and share yours without fear of judgment; to be connected with resources; to seek advice from other loss parents and share your wisdom.
We need those individuals creating change in our society. We need the documentary film Don’t Talk About the Baby that’s being created. But we also need places where we can go, lift off the mask, and be present in our grief with those who get it.
I decided to become an activist for this loss community as a way to fill a need. After my daughter was stillborn, I craved hearing other’s stories. I found the stories on Don’t Talk About the Baby’s YouTube channel and devoured them in a day. And then wanted more. I tried to find a podcast about pregnancy loss but it didn’t exist.
I assume it’s because the topic is difficult to discuss. How do I talk about a devastating topic while still maintaining a balanced level of hope and encouragement for my listeners? How do I provide a comfortable place for guests to share their stories? How do I, as a podcast host, maintain the ability to keep going week after week of listening to heart wrenching stories?
I have a Master’s in counseling and have spent the past five years in the field of social work. An extremely challenging field, where I learned to manage difficult emotions and situations. But if we’re being honest, it’s not a field I could have spent the rest of my career in. There’s something different about working in the pregnancy loss community.
I’m motivated because of the type of loss. For the most part, pregnancy loss is an innocent type of loss. A baby died and no one wanted it to happen. The parents didn’t choose this and they would have given anything to save their child. The baby was innocent and the parents were innocent. This innocence is what keeps me going. Additionally, I know what it feels like to bury a child. It’s a horrible thing to realize that loss doesn’t stop with you.
Every day, parents lose their children. And every day, parents are thrown into a group they never wanted join with no idea of how to grieve this devastating loss. Being able to provide just an ounce of support to this community is also what keeps me going.
My hope is that by creating a safe place, you will feel encouraged to share your story while receiving unhindered support. First in this loss community and then, with your confidence built, to the outside world. Pregnancy Loss Journey offers so many ways for you to get involved and share your grief journey with the pregnancy and infant loss community. I offer individuals a chance to share their story and pictures on the website. I have a pregnancy loss podcast that releases weekly episodes. I also offer Loss Talks on social media, where you can pose questions to the community or provide your wisdom to those seeking it. I’m also building an extensive pregnancy loss resource page, so that you can go to one place and find what you need.
I’m just one of the many individuals advocating for your right to have nonjudgmental and safe support after loss, in the way that works best for you and your grief.
Christy has a bachelor's in Psychology and a master’s in Counseling. She has experience working with individuals with mental illness and in post adoption. She is the Founder and CEO of the Pregnancy Loss Journey website and podcast. Christy has been married for 6.5 years and has 2 children: one lost to miscarriage and her daughter, Chloe, lost to stillbirth.