Secondary infertility is painful and hurtful, and I asked why it was happening to me, over and over.
I got pregnant with my daughter without trying. She was a happy accident. When she was 3 we decided to start trying for another. We foolishly assumed it would happen as easily as the first time. After a year of trying, I mentioned it to the nurse who did my smear. She referred me to the doctor. She told me to go away and stop stressing about it. Helpful! We eventually saw a different doctor who got us the appropriate tests. When they all came back normal we were told to come back in another year. Fast forward another year, so now our daughter was 5. We saw a different doctor who referred us to the fertility clinic in Sheffield. I had to have several invasive operations and procedures to see if there was anything preventing a pregnancy. There was not. They prescribed the fertility drug Clomid. 6 doses. after the third I had to stop taking it as it made me so sick. 3 years after we had started the journey we decided enough was enough. Our daughter was almost 6. It was affecting my health. It was affecting our relationship. I asked for some counselling from the clinic. I was offered two sessions. If I had have been paying for IVF, I'd have been offered unlimited sessions, but we were not able to afford it. I had the two sessions, and then I came to terms with it myself. It obviously wasn't meant to be. I feel very lucky to have my daughter, our happy accident. I never had a single miscarriage in all those 3 years we tried for our second child. Secondary infertility is painful and hurtful, and I asked why it was happening to me, over and over. I know at least a dozen friends who have had miscarriages, and we've all made an effort to talk to each other and get each other through the dark times to the other side.