The Loss of Innocence Made Me Stronger

The lines of where my fairy tale story begin and where the tragedy of my life ends is a blurred line of memories like the sun setting into the ocean. Often one story leads into the other and all the innocence is now gone. I was born a fighter, a believer, strong willed, and a dreamer but over the years I have lost my innocence.

The Innocense of A Little Girl

When I was a little girl I was living in a hell called home with an abusive father. I lived like that until I was 15 and because of it I thought that love came from physical touch instead of what is in our hearts. But somehow through it all even when my innocence was lost I decided to be a survivor instead of a victim and through him I found strength in myself that I never would have known I had and I became stronger.

The Innocence of A Young Woman

When I was 17 I joined the Air Force trying to escape the life that I knew and met a man that looking back had all the red signs of being just like my father. I always dreamed of marrying a man that would love me and we would have lots of babies and live happily ever after. Six months into our marriage the innocence of how beautiful a marriage should be was gone when I found scratches down his back that didn't come from me. And even still I fought to try and maintain my innocence of marriage and I tried to fight for the marriage. The marriage was bad but it made me stronger as a woman. As the marriage became worse and the cycle of abuse kept getting worse I became stronger.

The Innocence of A Mother

Beauty can come from all situations an in my case it came in the form of two beautiful little girls. The first was born when I was 19 and the other when I was 21. I fought for the beauty that is motherhood, all I had ever wanted to be in life, while working full time and dealing with the bad marriage. Being in that situation I lost the innocence of being a good loving, patient, attentive mother. When the marriage started affecting my daughters I fought for their innocence and I left him. For three years I was a single mom and because of that I became stronger.