It was the most traumatic, yet beautiful experience of my life.
Don't talk about the baby is an amazing initiative and if only we had more campaigns like this, I am certain so many more women would know that a 1 in 4 chance is more common than they think.
I lost my baby when I was 16 weeks pregnant because I contracted Rubella (German measles). My family is not against vaccinations and I had all my shots but by some misfortune my immunity against Rubella was not high. The risks to the baby were too high and even though I knew I was strong enough to love and care for any physical abnormality I knew it was unfair to give a child that sort of life. Termination was the only choice both my husband and I had to make. I was naturally induced on May 26th 2015 and delivered a beautiful baby girl. It was the most traumatic yet beautiful experience of my life.
Traumatic because no mother should ever have to see their child that way but beautiful because I am a mother and I had a baby. My baby will never get to know how much of love I had waiting for her. It's only been 4 weeks since the termination and I can still picture her face! The pain is real and it wont go away anytime soon, nor do I want it to go away. It is the only memory I have of her being real. The pain is needed in a way because it is the only way I know she existed because I have nothing else to remember her by.
My wish through this documentary is not only for awareness but also for expectant mums or women trying to conceive to take precautions against things that can be avoided such as making sure you are vaccinated. I want Angel mums like myself who had to terminate their pregnancy for medical reasons to know they are not alone. Many people can openly talk about miscarriage because they never had a choice. Mums who terminate for medical reasons had a choice and we live with that every moment of every day.